Why Nazis are so afraid of these clowns: Clowning as a tactic of creative resistance

Why Nazis are so afraid of these clowns

August 25, 2017

The Finnish group “Loldiers of Odin” formed to protest the anti-immigrant Soldiers of Odin. (loldiers.com)

Trolls chanted in the streets the day of a planned neo-Nazi rally in the small ski town of Whitefish, Montana earlier this year. But they were not the trolls that residents had been expecting — namely, white supremacists from around the country, who had been harassing the town’s Jewish community with death threats.

These trolls wore bright blue wigs and brandished signs that read “Trolls Against Trolls” and “Fascists Fear Fun,” cheerfully lining the route where the neo-Nazi march had been slated to take place. Due to poor organizing and the failure to obtain proper permits, the demonstration had fallen through, leading to what the counter-protesters gleefully deemed a “Sieg Fail.” So, locals held their own counter-event, gathering together to share matzo ball soup and celebrate the town’s unity, which — with a dose of humor and a denunciation of hatred — had successfully weathered a right-wing anti-Semitic “troll storm” and strengthened the community as a whole.

Using humor and irony to undermine white supremacy dates back to the days of the Third Reich, from jokes and cartoons employed by Norwegians against the Nazi occupation to “The Great Dictator” speech by Charlie Chaplin. In recent years, humor has continued to be used as a tactic to undermine Nazi ideology, particularly in the unlikely form of clowns — troupes of brightly-dressed activists who show up to neo-Nazi gatherings and make a public mockery of the messages these groups promote. It puts white supremacists in a dilemma in which their own use of violence will seem unwarranted, and their machismo image is tainted by the comedic performance by their opponent. Humor de-escalates their rallies, turning what could become a violent confrontation into a big joke.

Satirical imitation was used in Olympia, Washington in 2005 when a dozen members of the National Socialist Movement paraded around the state capitol to recruit members for the coming “race war.” They were met with clowns mimicking the “Seig Heil” salute and goose-stepping in a public mockery that drew attention away from the Nazi demonstration and undermined their image to would-be supporters.

Anti-Nazi demonstrators in Knoxville, Tennessee called themselves Coup Clutz Clowns. (redletterchristians.org)

In 2007, the group Anti Racist Action staged a full-fledged clown performance at a neo-Nazi rally in Knoxville, Tennessee. The clowns feigned confusion at demonstrators’ cries of “White power!” and called back, “White flour?” as they threw fistfulls of flour into the air.

“White power!” the neo-Nazi group shouted, and the clowns pretended they finally understood their mistake. “Oh, white flowers!” they cried out, handing white flowers to passersby, including some of the neo-Nazis themselves.

“White power!” they yelled again. “Tight shower?” the clowns called back, holding a shower head in the air and crowding together in a ridiculous attempt to follow the directions of the white supremacist group.

They tried once more: “White power!” And the female clowns exclaimed, as though they finally understood, “Wife power!” raising letters in the air to spell out the words and hoisting the male clowns in the air, running around and carrying them in their arms.

The clowns stole the show, and continued parading through the streets with the police smiling happily at their sides while the neo-Nazi group called off their demonstration several hours early. This action inspired clowns in Charlotte, North Carolina to also yell “Wife power!” at a white supremacist rally. They also held signs that said “Dwight Power!” next to photos of the NBA player Dwight Howard.

Anti-Nazi clowning can also turn into a wider community event, bringing local people together in solidarity and fun. A recent New York Times editorial highlighted an “involuntary walk-a-thon” in Wunsiedel, Germany, organized in response to an annual neo-Nazi march. The organizers drew chalk markers on the pavement marking the starting point, halfway point and finish line. Local residents and businesses pledged to donate 10 euros for every meter the white supremacists marched to a group called EXIT Deutschland, which is dedicated to helping people leave right-wing extremist groups.

Neo-nazis take part in the “involuntary walk-a-thon” in Wunsiedel, Germany in 2014. (Twitter / @exitdeutschland)

People came out to cheer the marchers the day of the event, flanking the route with signs that read “If only the Fuhrer knew!” and “Mein Mamph!” ( or “My Munch”) by a table of bananas offered to the walkers. This turned the marchers into involuntary supporters against their own cause, and brought the community together in unity to counter the messages of white supremacy.

Other European cities have employed clowns to counter anti-immigrant groups. For example, the “Loldiers of Odin” formed in Finland to counter a citizen patrol called Soldiers of Odin. The clowns danced around the streets the same nights that the patrols went out in the community, bringing acrobat hoops and a hobby horse. They also danced around the “soldiers” while playing in the snow. Their actions countered right-wing propaganda of making the streets “safer” from immigrants by bringing humor and silliness to their actions.

Clowning as a tactic of creative resistance was first developed by a group of U.K. activists who started the Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army, or CIRCA, in 2003. Mixing slapstick humor and improv theater with civil disobedience, the group had — at its height —over 150 trained clowns in Edinburgh, and their tactics were adopted by activists across Europe and the United States.

Humor has wide-reaching potential beyond clowning in countering neo-Nazis. It can be employed in the form of a serenade, like the sousaphonist who played his instrument to a crowd of Confederate flag-wielding marchers in Columbia, South Carolina. There’s also the parody song “Tiki Torch Nazis,” written and performed by a couple from San Francisco, that went viral after Charlottesville and hilariously undermines the serious image neo-Nazis strive to present. Meanwhile, in the United Kingdom, a group called the English Disco Lovers, or EDL, uses its acronym along with dance music and 1970’s style wigs to subvert public gatherings of the racist English Defense League.

English Disco Lovers protest the racist English Defense League. (Flickr / Tim Buss)

To build on past successes of anti-Nazi clowning, activists and local organizers can draw on the creativity of the community to devise actions and events that mock white supremacist ideology and those who support it. This could be done in the form of a carnivalesque “Fascist Fair,” complete with a dunk tank and jousting match. It could take the form of dressing up in costumes that satirize the labels white supremacists have given counter-protesters, like vermin or Communists. Events can draw in various local groups, from marching bands to theater troupes to intramural sports teams so that resistance to white supremacy becomes a community expression of solidarity, like in Whitefish, Montana.

Counter-demonstrations can employ a tactic called détournement, or culture jamming, to draw on existing cultural symbols that resonate with a wider audience. This could involve staging a humorous match in which one side represents neo-Nazis dressed as Death Eaters from Harry Potter, and the other side represents Gryffindor, or the Avengers, or Wonder Woman and the Amazon warriors. Their marches can be accompanied by a mass choir drowning out their chants with refrains of “You’re So Vain” or JoJo’s “Leave (Get Out).” They could also be met with “Flash Mobs Against Fascist Mobs.” The street where the march is planned could be covered in rainbow paint and glitter that will coat the bottoms of their shoes.

Beyond the marches themselves, clowning can undermine Confederate statues and symbols when their removal would lead to an escalation of violence, as activist David Swanson has suggested. Dressing up Confederate statues as clowns or jokers with signs like “You must be joking!” mocks the statue itself and undercuts the veneration of historical figures who represent the country’s legacy of slavery.

Other creative tactics can be used to counter neo-Nazi propaganda with less direct confrontation. Activists around the world have turned Nazi graffiti into art, like the #PaintBack campaign transforming Swastika’s into cartoon animals.

These actions not only deflate the macho image of neo-Nazis to their own supporters — which is strengthened by violent confrontation — but they also engage the community in planning fun collective actions to counter hate and intolerance. Humorous counter-demonstrations unleash a storm of creativity, as activists and local groups collaborate to design creative actions together. In the end, the actions bring communities together against hate speech. Since humor and clowning can incorporate so many community members — children and the elderly, musicians and athletes, politicians and school teachers — they draw everyone into a joyful, silly expression of solidarity. That’s something a band of tiki torch-wielding neo-Nazis don’t stand a chance against.

———————————-

Originally published in Waging Nonviolence
 https://wagingnonviolence.org

Waging Nonviolence content falls under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License

Toe of Satan: Hard Candy Lollipop 900 Times Hotter Than Jalapeno

Lucifer’s lolly

Lollipops bring to mind images of sweet innocence; the Toe of Satan sets those images on fire. This scorching sucker hits your tongue like a cinnamon flamethrower and keeps burning long after you remove it from your mouth. It’s a candy meant for those who want to experience truly extreme heat.

Keeping with the hellish theme, the hard candy pop has the pointed shape of a demonic toe and the outline of a toenail. The ominous packaging features a coffin cutout, so you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into.

Features & specs

Go to Hell: The Game–Make Your Way thru 7 Deadly Sins to Win

Go To Hell The Game

Gather your friends together for a devilish dash through the fiery pits of Dante’s Inferno!

  • Gather your friends together for a devilish dash through the fiery pits of Dante’s Inferno!
  • This board game lets you compete to be the first to make your way through all 7 deadly sins and go to Hell.
  • Just don’t get sent to Heaven unless you have the Get Out Of Heaven Free card.
  • It’s a race to the bottom that’s so much fun, it’s sinful.

Includes game board, die, 4 game pieces, and 20 Hell Cards.

Twitter Purge: Sampling of Accounts Suspended: Even Richard Spencer is Confused

Twitter purge

Twitter has stayed silent of which accounts have been suspended today, leading users to share information as it is discovered. Here are a few so far (will keep adding):

Jared Taylor

American Renaissance

JDL Canada (Jewish Defence League)

Britain First

Jayda Fransen

Paul Golding

Michael Hill (LotS)

Jeff Schoep (NSM)

Vanguard America

Generation Identity

@nordicfrontier, the podcast of the far-right Nordic Resistance Movement

English Defence League (@edlofficialpage)

Occidental Dissent, Hunter Wallace (@occdissent)

Traditionalist Workers Party (@tradworker). TWP was the organization co-founded by the neo-Nazi profiled in the NYT’s “Nazi next door” story.

New Black Panther Account

American Nazi Party @ANP14.

@FreedomofUSofA

Brad Griffin/occidental dissent

Halal Kitty

Jeff Schoepp

Ottoman Groyper

Conker Groyper

@ModerateComment

Michael Hill

Hunter Wallace

Based Atlanta

Matt Parrott

League of the South

STILL STANDING:

Seven banned words at the CDC: A rationale

Hypothetically speaking, the rationale for the CDC being barred from using the following 7 words/terms may be less nefarious than it appears on the surface:

Evidence-based and science-based: Whose evidence? What science? Perhaps the request is that the science and evidence must be specific and must be good science. In other words, avoiding junk-science or evidence produced by the plague of predatory journals in existence today.

Fetus: The problem here may be that the legal definition of fetus is disputed? The ACLU discusses the terminology of this slippery slope here:

https://www.aclu.org/other/whats-wrong-fetal-rights

Transgender: A quick review of legal articles reveals transgender issues are “legal heaven.” In other words, the laws are evolving and may differ among states. Perhaps the word is to be avoided for legal reasons until all this is ironed out.

Diversity, Entitlement, Vulnerable: These words mean different things to different groups. The language may just be too non-specific. As we sort out so many social issues at this time in history, it may just be a case of “covering your ass.”

Bigfoot Head Kept Frozen Since 1953 Revealed–Ruined Parent’s Marriage

Peter Caine, also a YouTuber under Peter Caine Dog Training, has brought this head out of the family freezer where it has been stored since 1953. Caine says he plans to open a Bigfoot Museum in 2020 and this head will be on display. The best part of the video is when he tells how it ruined his parent’s marriage over a Thanksgiving prank gone wrong–oh, and the comments are pretty funny too. Check out Bigfoot’s teeth–they are perfect.

3200 Phaeton Asteroid Leads to End Times Predictions… Again

While rapture-ready folks are celebrating today, the flyby of 3200 Phaeton has been known for years and is not considered a threat to our survival by science. One YouTube video even explains that 3200 Phaeton proves Barack Obama is the anti-Christ due to Oprah declaring he is “the one” on some tangentially associated date and that Phaeton sounds like Python–more proof–and that Phaeton is a destroyer in mythology, and, and…) In fact, NASA recently explained Phaeton in connection with the Geminids Meteor Shower which peaked December 13-14, 2017.

“About the Geminid Shower
The Geminids are active every December, when Earth passes through a massive trail of dusty debris shed by a weird, rocky object named 3200 Phaethon. The dust and grit burn up when they run into Earth’s atmosphere in a flurry of “shooting stars.”

“Phaethon’s nature is debated,” said Cooke. “It’s either a near-Earth asteroid or an extinct comet, sometimes called a rock comet.”

As an added bonus this year, astronomers will have a chance to study Phaethon up close in mid-December, when it passes nearest to Earth since its discovery in 1983.”


Asteroid Phaethon NASA Fact Sheet 12.13.10

The Geminids are a unique meteor shower in that their identified parent body is not a comet, but what seems to be an asteroid! Of the meteor showers with known parent bodies studied by meteor scientists, the Geminids are the only shower to have an asteroidal parent body; all others have a cometary origin. 3200 Phaethon measures 5.10 km in diameter which increases the ‘unique’ factor; considering the amount of debris we see, we would expect Phaethon to be a much larger body!

Phaethon was discovered on October 11, 1983 using the Infrared Astronomical Satellite, and named after the Greek myth of Phaethon, son of the sun god Helios, due to its close approach to our Sun.

Phaethon is technically classified as an asteroid — the first to be discovered via satellite. But how could an asteroid produce meteoroids that cause the Geminids? One theory is that Phaethon broke apart from another object, ejecting meteoroids as a part of the breakup. This doesn’t agree with other things we know, however. Another theory is that a collision with another object thousands of years ago could have produced debris that Earth now travels through. This theory appears to be unlikely as well, based on other evidence. Another theory assumes Phaethon to be a dead comet (the spent nucleus of a comet whose ices had been sublimated away) that produced debris in the past that now intersects Earth’s orbit. But no evidence for mass loss from the object has ever been reported…. until recently. In 2009 the NASA spacecraft STEREO-A observed 3200 Phaethon to brighten by a factor of two, quite unexpectedly. This brightening at perihelion was likely due to a release of dust from the object, possibly due to heating and cracking of the surface rocks as Phaethon came close to the Sun. That brings us to the fourth theory, that Phaethon is a rock comet. The problem with this theory is that it doesn’t account for the amount of dust in the Geminid stream.

So what it comes down to is that the Geminid parent object is a mystery.


More FACTS:

Goldstone Radar Observations Planning: Asteroid 3200 Phaethon

https://echo.jpl.nasa.gov/asteroids/Phaethon/Phaethon_planning.2017.html

 


3200 Phaethon
3200 Phaethon (1983 TB) was discovered on 1983 Oct. 11 by NASA's Infrared Astronomical Satellite (IRAS).  
With a diameter of about 5 km, Phaethon is the third largest near-Earth asteroid classified as "Potentially Hazardous" 
after 53319 1999 JM8 (~7 km) and 4183 Cuno (~5.6 km).   

Phaethon has an unusually high eccentricity of 0.890 and a perihelion of 0.140 au
that is among the smallest known in the near-Earth asteroid population.  Due to the close perihelion,
Phaethon is named for the Greek mythological son of Helios (the Sun god).  In Greek mythology, Phaethon 
drove his father's chariot for one day, lost control of its horses, and nearly set the Earth on fire. 

Phaethon will approach within 0.069 au of Earth on 2017 December 16 when it will be a strong
radar imaging target at Goldstone and Arecibo.  This will be the best opportunity to date for radar observations
of this asteroid and we hope to obtain detailed images with resolutions as fine as 75 m/pixel at Goldstone
and 15 m/pixel at Arecibo.  The images should be excellent for obtaining a detailed 3D model.

Extensive photometric observations by many observers have yielded a rotation period of 3.6 h, a lightcurve amplitude
of up to ~0.4 mag, and a pole direction of (lambda, beta) = (85+- 13, -20+-10) deg (Ansdell et al. 2014).
Ansdell et al. also obtained axis ratios of x/y = 1.04 and x/z = 1.14, so Phaethon appears relatively unelongated
along its equator but somewhat flattened at its poles. 

Spectroscopic observations by several observing teams strongly suggest that Phaethon is an optically-dark B-class 
object.  However, thermal infrared observations dating back to the 1990s by Harris et al. give an optical
albedo of 0.11 that seems somewhat bright for the B class.   More recent observations by NASA's NEOWISE
mission have detected Phaethon and could provide an update on the diameter and albedo.  

Phaethon was detected by radar at Arecibo in December 2007.  Due to equipment problems, the 2007 data 
consist of a modest number of echo power spectra and a handful of delay-Doppler images from two days.
Echo power spectra obtained at Arecibo in 2007 were strong and provided a maximum bandwidth of 44 Hz.
Combined with the rotation period of 3.6 h, the bandwidth places a lower bound on the maximum pole-on dimension
of about 5.7 km.  The 2007 delay-Doppler images show a rounded object, which is consistent with the shape of the echo
power spectra, but were relatively weak and do not show detailed surface features.  
The 2007 Arecibo observations have a radar cross section of about 2.4 km^2, that, if we adopt a diameter of
5.1 km, imply a radar albedo of 0.12.  As such, the SNRs in the tables below could be too low by about 20%.

Phaethon is widely thought to be the parent body for the Geminids meteor stream due to similarities between
its orbit and that of the meteors (Whipple 1983; Williams and Wu 1993).  Most meteor streams are associated with comets, 
so this raises the question of whether Phaethon could be an inactive comet nucleus.  

Observations by Jewitt and colleagues have revealed episodic activity by Phaethon, but have not, to date,
shown the signature of particles as large as those in the Geminids meteors.  The implication is that Phaethon
experiences occasional outbursts that produce particles far larger than any seen so far.  As such, Phaethon is an unusual 
object that appears asteroidal most of the time but occasionally shows low levels of activity when it is
near perihleion.   Phaethon is classified as an asteroid,
not as a comet, and despite the high eccentricity, the object's Tisserand parameter is not cometary.  
The 2017 apparition is the closest to Earth since the asteroid's discovery
so it may be possible for optical observers to detect new activity.  If Phaethon shows
unexpectedly strong activity in 2017, then there is a small (perhaps very small) chance that CW radar observations 
might reveal echoes from a cloud of small particles similar to  the "skirts" seen in radar observations of
active comet nuclei.  

The very low perihelion of Phaethon makes it a possible candidate for detecting general relativistic
and/or solar oblateness effects in its orbital motion (Margot and Giorgini 2010), so one of our principal
objectives is to obtain high-resolution radar ranging measurements to support this effort.

Phaethon will be brighter than 16th magnitude for about one month from November-December 2017.
Phaethon is predicted to reach 11th magnitude in mid-December when it will be visible in small telescopes 
for experienced observers at sites with dark skies.

Phaethon is potentially detectable at Goldstone for about three weeks and tracks are scheduled on
ten days between Dec. 11-21.  
Due to its relatively rapid motion in declination, Phaethon is visible at Arecibo on only five days 
from Dec. 15-19 and observations are scheduled on all of those dates. 
We may also request time at Green Bank to receive Goldstone transmissions.

The 2017 encounter is the closest by this asteroid since 1974 and until 2093.

Phaethon is classified as a "Potentially Hazardous Asteroid" by the Minor Planet Center.

Orbital and Physical Characteristics  
Name                     Phaethon
Number                   3200
Discoverer               IRAS
Discovery date           1983 Oct 11
orbit type               Apollo                                          

Close approach date      2017 Dec 16
Close approach dist.     0.0689 au                                     
Close approach dist.     26.8 lunar distances                         

semimajor axis           1.271 au
eccentricity             0.890                                         
inclination             22.2 deg                                      
orbital period           1.433 y                                       
perihelion distance      0.140 au                                      
aphelion distance        2.402 au                                      
MOID                     0.0206 au
Tisserand parameter      4.510  (asteroidal)

absolute magnitude (H)   14.6                                         
diameter                 5.1 km
optical albedo           0.11
spectral class           F, B   
rotation period          3.603 h
lightcurve amplitude     0.11 - 0.44 mag                                      
pole direction           lambda = 85 deg, beta = -20 deg
                         PHA                                           

Phaethon Close Earth Approaches Within 0.15 au:
          Date (TDB)      Body   CA Dist  MinDist  MaxDist   Vrel  TCA3Sg  Nsigs  P_i/p
  A.D. 1631 Dec 04.87057  Earth  .129451  .129448  .129455  37.463   0.28 8.94E5 .000000
  A.D. 1723 Dec 05.57449  Earth  .145430  .145389  .145471  38.105   2.71 6.83E5 .000000
  A.D. 1746 Dec 06.19456  Earth  .128707  .128685  .128730  37.584   1.48 6.47E5 .000000
  A.D. 1769 Dec 05.41186  Earth  .142850  .142847  .142853  38.059   0.18 6.18E5 .000000
  A.D. 1802 Dec 07.50563  Earth  .128020  .127994  .128046  37.576   1.69 5.65E5 .000000
  A.D. 1812 Dec 14.41557  Earth  .075414  .075392  .075436  31.957   1.32 5.41E5 .000000
  A.D. 1845 Dec 08.17934  Earth  .111777  .111762  .111792  37.074   0.95 5.05E5 .000000
  A.D. 1855 Dec 15.93005  Earth  .086277  .086264  .086289  31.544   0.70 4.93E5 .000000
  A.D. 1888 Dec 09.19404  Earth  .088686  .088677  .088694  36.336   0.56 4.43E5 .000000
  A.D. 1898 Dec 16.74220  Earth  .107786  .107778  .107794  30.863   0.40 4.47E5 .000000
  A.D. 1931 Dec 13.50144  Earth  .038389  .038386  .038392  34.597   0.21 3.88E5 .000000
  A.D. 1964 Dec 08.70985  Earth  .131281  .131280  .131283  37.774   0.09 4.10E5 .000000
  A.D. 1974 Dec 16.36240  Earth  .054746  .054745  .054747  32.365   0.07 3.49E5 .000000
  A.D. 2007 Dec 10.19673  Earth  .120896  .120896  .120896  37.446   0.02 4.10E6 .000000
  A.D. 2017 Dec 16.95810  Earth  .068932  .068932  .068932  31.888   0.03 5.45E5 .000000
  A.D. 2050 Dec 11.82259  Earth  .082569  .082568  .082571  36.236   0.09 2.86E5 .000000
  A.D. 2060 Dec 18.48085  Earth  .111131  .111129  .111133  30.648   0.08 2.72E5 .000000
  A.D. 2093 Dec 14.45306  Earth  .019812  .019810  .019813  34.234   0.14 1.69E5 .000000   Wow...
  A.D. 2136 Dec 13.92650  Earth  .055065  .055062  .055068  35.401   0.20 6.11E5 .000000
  A.D. 2146 Dec 19.83488  Earth  .090252  .090248  .090255  31.170   0.16 98428. .000000
  A.D. 2189 Dec 15.24219  Earth  .035481  .035478  .035485  34.795   0.21 74794. .000000
  A.D. 2199 Dec 20.58935  Earth  .094898  .094896  .094899  31.016   0.06 2.44E5 .000000
  A.D. 2242 Dec 14.61151  Earth  .091625  .091613  .091636  36.502   0.68 62050. .000000
  A.D. 2252 Dec 19.01935  Earth  .033027  .033013  .033041  32.755   0.72 51202. .000000
  A.D. 2295 Dec 15.68761  Earth  .079921  .079893  .079949  36.095   1.62 1.19E5 .000000
  A.D. 2305 Dec 22.37725  Earth  .084068  .084034  .084103  31.292   1.67 1.56E5 .000000
  A.D. 2348 Dec 18.51981  Earth  .026363  .026291  .026435  34.388   4.49 2.31E5 .000000
  A.D. 2358 Dec 23.35001  Earth  .096338  .096314  .096363  30.968   1.17 2.57E5 .000000
  A.D. 2401 Dec 15.20440  Earth  .122133  .121893  .122374  37.327  14.55 3.24E5 .000000
  A.D. 2411 Dec 20.98099  Earth  .021385  .021209  .021565  33.333  18.19 3.47E5 .000000
  A.D. 2454 Dec 15.03196  Earth  .141051  .138488  .143615  37.905 157.41 4.26E5 .000000
  A.D. 2464 Dec 20.49665  Earth  .025300  .024373  .026604  33.392 174.52 4.52E5 .000000

Phaethon also makes repeated close encounters with Venus, Mercury, and 15 Eunomia.

Last update: 2017 Dec 14

The Dreaded Christmas Letter: Reality Sucks

My mother, grandmother and I shared a wicked sense of humor. One of my favorite holiday memories is the opening of “The Christmas Letter” popularly enclosed in Christmas cards in the days when people actually sent out cards.

Each letter would go on glowingly about the stellar accomplishments of each and every family member, bragging about everything from financial status to educational milestones to perfect family vacations and cheers to the coming year of even more good fortune headed their way.

After we read these syrupy-sweet works of fiction, we would imagine what our “Christmas Letter” would say about the year we just barely survived:

We are happy to report that cousin Joey has received probation following his arrest for counterfeiting. We hope he has learned his lesson and that he will quit hanging out with the wrong crowd. Auntie Jane is helping him study for his GED, which he hopes to earn by the end of June, just before he turns 40 in August.

On another legal note, his sister Melanie will not be charged with attempting to highjack an airplane because she was only armed with a banana. Her new anti-psychotics seem to really be agreeing with her and ironically she is volunteering her time at the zoo in order to fulfill her community service requirements.

Grandpa only got the pistol out of the closet twice this year. We are tickled pink that his periods of despondence seem to be fewer and far between! We suspect it is because he put down the bourbon and now only drinks beer and wine. If that doesn’t work, we are looking into a prescription for medical marijuana.

Uncle John is getting a divorce but has met a nice lady online. He is sending her money she is carefully saving for her ticket to the United States. From the photos he has shown us, she is quite a looker! We wish them luck as this will be John’s sixth run at marriage!

We had hoped to have a family reunion this year, but no one could afford to travel what with the cost of our high deductible health insurance. The good news is that our family will receive research funds for participating in a study on genetic mutations starting right after the new year!

Spreading holiday joy to you and yours!